Relax. Everything's going to be awesome.

Genesis 15: 1-6 ¹ After this, the word of the LORD came to Abram in a vision:

   “Do not be afraid, Abram.
   I am your shield,^[a]
   your very great reward.^[b]”

 ² But Abram said, “Sovereign LORD, what can you give me since I remain childless and the one who will inherit^[c] my estate is Eliezer of Damascus?” ³ And Abram said, “You have given me no children; so a servant in my household will be my heir.”

 ⁴ Then the word of the LORD came to him: “This man will not be your heir, but a son who is your own flesh and blood will be your heir.” ⁵ He took him outside and said, “Look up at the sky and count the stars—if indeed you can count them.” Then he said to him, “So shall your offspring^[d] be.”

 ⁶ Abram believed the LORD, and he credited it to him as righteousness.

This is one of those “big deal” passages of scripture so I figured I should say something about it. So, let’s set the scene. Abram is an older guy and so is his wife. They been together for some time at this point and they have no children. In the ancient world that is a big deal. Even today people are willing to go to all manner of length to get a child and being childless doesn’t have nearly the same social stigma to it. You needed children to keep your family name going, to keep your possessions in your family. Children were considered a blessing from God, and just like today people equated being blessed with being good and not being blessed with being evil. So that is a little glimpse into the situation that Abram is in when he talks to God here.

He is desperate and he desperately wants to believe. Can you understand that? I can.

There aren’t really a lot of thing that I want in life. I lead an incredibly blessed and prosperous life. I have more great friends than I can spend time with. I have a few friends that are close enough to really tell me what they think and that’s harder to find than it should be. I’ve never gone hungry. I get to take a hot shower every morning. I have incredibly supportive and wonderful parents and siblings. Everything I need is provided for me.

If I was really, hesitate to type this, honest, the only things that I really want from my life here on Earth are a wife and a family. And man, it’s difficult to explain just what that desire feels like. There have been nights where I have lain awake for hours talking to God about it. There are songs that I can’t listen to when I’m in certain moods because they hit home too hard. There are days where I can’t concentrate or think straight while I’m alone because I can’t think of anything else but what I want.

Some times it feels as though the universe is conspiring against me to keep me from this or to thrust it in my face at the worst possible moments. I’m not the type of person who thinks that there is a “the one” for everyone out there, but give me a moment to explain what I mean by that. I believe that it is honestly possible for any really Christian man and really Christian woman to be in a perfectly happy healthy relationship. I don’t think that God has necessarily designed a “perfect” man or woman for every person out there. To think that takes a lot of the romance out of love for me. If I have no say in the matter, if God has just said “you WILL meet this person and you WILL love them no matter what,” then what were all of the other times I’ve felt something for a different girl? And why is it that I can encourage myself to care for one girl or discourage myself from loving another? I could be wrong, but I think we have some say in who we end up with here on Earth. So theoretically I should have a pretty wide playing field to work with right?

Nope. There have been girls who I’ve been pretty sure would at least go on a date with me and I haven’t been able to allow myself to ask them out because I know that I wouldn’t be going on a date with them because I’m interested in them, but because I want to go on a date with anyone. How messed up is that?

All that to say that, while I may not know exactly what Abram was feeling when he asked God his question in verse 2 I’ve got an inkling of what it’s like to not really believe you’re going to get the things that you want. Wouldn’t it be nice to be able to ask God for something that you want and to get an audible, direct answer?

God doesn’t owe me a wife or a family and He also hasn’t promised me either. But he has made a few promises to me.

Jeremiah 29:11

For I know the plans I have for you,” says the Lord. “They are plans for good and not for disaster, to give you a future and a hope.

Phillippians 4:19

And this same God who takes care of me will supply all your needs from his glorious riches, which have been given to us in Christ Jesus.

Romans 6:23

For the wages of sin is death, but the free gift of God is eternal life through Christ Jesus our Lord.

And one of my personal favorites,
Matthew 29:20 
“…And surely I am with you always, to the very end of the age.”
God hasn’t promised me the things I want in life. But He’s promised to be with me. He’s promised the things that I need. He’s promised to be enough for me. And it is true. Even when my desires are overwhelming me, He is enough to keep me going. My hope is in Him. No matter what pains I go through here on Earth, He will be there for me on the other side. Even if that is hard to remember sometimes.